My Future as Seen by Me

Greetings to all who turned left when you should have turn right. You now are here, in the top left corner the little green arrow pointing back, that'll spare you of my mindless drivel.
I am currently in a place you all know very well, Iraq. Fortunetly for me I chose to join the Nebraska National Gaurd in 2003, and even better yet six months out of basic training, while I was working at WAL-MART I got a call that I would be given an all expense paid, eighteen month vacation to a desert enviroment where the only threats were the thousands of people residing here wanting me dead. Obviously I jumped upon hearing this news, clicked my heels together and celebrated my soon departure from civilization.
(NOTE: I will not distiguish where but within the structure of the above paragraph, I may have used sarcasm.)
I have decided not to go any further into details pertaining to my deployment and instead would try to focus on what clings onto the last few strands of my sanity. I don't want to say anything controversial, and I really don't feel like answering to anything I post so I will avoid the whole Army side of my life. My name is Jason Fleck, I am 20 years old and a resident of Greenwood, NE. I am a SPC in the Nebraska Army National Guard and my contract expires on December 19th, 2009.
Following this deployment I will aspire to being a guitar playing hippy with long, mangly hair and living out of a gym bag I found in a dumpster behind Wendy's where I was subsequently finishing off the expired maynaise that had been thrown away. Note: Fast Food dumpsters are a great source for food with little nutritional value and an extended dumpster life. I figure I'll end up marrying the crazy cat lady. We won't require kids because we'll be blessed the rest of our lives with inbred cats running around the house. I figure I can catch some quality catfish off the kittens who didn't survive.
All in all my life will be alright, I figure I'll run around and scare little kids at Halloween, steal their candy and resell it to them. For Christmas I'll do the Salvation Army thing infront of a Wal-Mart, only I'll keep the money for myself so I can afford flea collars for all Ma and I's precious babies. I see long nights at the horse track looking for discarded winners, and begging dunks coming out of bars for money. I will of course make myself a sign saying "Army Veteran" while I'm begging for change. Hey I might even play my guitar for money, if I can clean all the cat shit out of it. Overall I see a bright future for myself.
I'll die at the age of 46. I will have fallen in a dumpster behind a sea food restrauraunt while searching for food for Ma and the young uns'. I figure I'll fall in and some 19 year old zit faced loser will poor fish guts all over me. Upon returning to the two room Shack me and the Missus reiside in I will be mauled by an army of hungry cats. I will be buried behind the shack and relocated six times on account of them damn coyotes that keep digging me up. Finally I'll be stripped to the bones and my body will be laid to rest right outside a sewage treatment center. I can't see a more rewarding, serviceable future for myself.