Jason Fleck Declares His War Against Sitcoms

Quiet Ladies and Gentleman, Jason Fleck is about to address the masses.

"Fellow Earthicans, I come tonight to declare my war against the sitcom. The Sitcom has being rising up against worldwide television audience for too long, and I say we shall make our stand! I have heard all the canned laughter I can stands. And as the greatest sailor in the history of the world would say, I stands all I can stands and I can't stands no more. The major television networks must be stopped, as they are corrupting what was once a worthwhile investment in television. Now our children resort to video games, porn, drugs, booze and leisure activities and don't sit basking in the glorious glow that has tanned my skin for my 20 years on this earth. I cannot live on in a world where the lowest form of entertainment is prominent on television. I have decided I shall declare war on the sitcom. I will take the fight to the enemy, I will conquer this corrupt, godless, souless, heathen which has leeched the entertainment out of prime time television. I will destroy this summoner of death and destruction to the television and I will not fight via the Geneva Convention. Ladies and Gentleman and young children... especially young children I will torture the Sitcom as it has done to the American public for years. It will beg for mercy and I will begat more pain upon it. I will not quit until the sitcom lays in a pile of rubble, of which I will urinate on. There will be no losing this battle, the enemy will fall, and he will regret he ever laid claim to television. The sitcom will be annihilated, and Television will become good and pure, as it once was. Thank You and Good night."