I hate this place.

What'd I'd rather be exposed to than here:

In a kiddy pool filled to the brim with salt after sitting out in the sun for eight straight hours without applying sunscreen.

In a porta-potty which had rolled down a hill into a landfill.

Sitting in my living room gagged and forced to listen to Mormans telling me why to join the Church of Later Day Saints.

Driving a foreign car

Watching every Ernest movie uninterrupted

Drinking a case of Diet Pepsi

Working at McDonald's

Rummaging through the dumpster at McDonald's

Stripping at a Gay Bar

Janitorial serivces at the Porn Barn

Babysitting twenty kids with A.D.D. who haven't taken their medication.

Shooting twenty kids with A.D.D. who haven't taken their medication.

Going on blind dates with transvestites.

Hand feeding incredibly obese people..and giving them sponge baths.

Drinking six gallons of milk which has sat out in the sun for three weeks.

Having my stomach pumped on 12 different occasions while trying to accomplish this feat.

Being mugged and robbed by a group of nuns.

Having a vasectomy.

Having a vasectomy done by a hobo, who can see out of only one eye with no medical credentials in a back alley with a pair of bolt cutters.

Try to break the world record for most VDs by sleeping with Vegas prostitutes.

Be dissected by a middle school biology class.

Be dissected and sodomized by an eighth grade biology class.

Have people who work with me read this and think I'm incredibly disturbed.

Eat at Arby's.

Wear Calvin Klein jeans.

Watch Kaazam.

Owned 100,000 shares of Enron stock before it crashed.

Been born a Texas Longhorns fan. (shivers)